The Greatest Soccer Team in the World


The Soccer Letters


Summer League 2013


Summer Soccer Letter Number 1 -- Bent Like Beckham makes a glorious return. Also, a thing that happened at Tony's wedding.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 2 -- It's not really a letter, just funny pictures and rude jokes.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 3 -- A tribute to Amalie and Ronnie. Also, inspirational words from Sir Sean Connery.

Spring League 2013


Spring Soccer Letter Number 1 -- The Team is back and wins big. Then it loses big. Also, Abby Clancy in a black dress.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 -- The Team finds itself short a few good men. And a couple of average ones.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 3 -- The Team ran a lot, even before the game started. Then they ran a little. Also, the nut bra.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 4 -- The Team gets a hard fought tie, then makes a series of disturbing confessions.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 5 -- The Team makes the playoffs and earns a participant ribbon.

Spring League 2012


Spring Soccer Letter Number 1 -- The Team returns for its 7th Glorious Season. The other team doesn't bother to show up.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 -- The other team shows up. it doesn't matter, Bent Like Beckham wins anyway.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 3 -- Hungary's dominance as a world soccer power, explained.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 4 -- Bent Like Beckham delivers an hellacious shin kicking.

Summer League 2011


Summer Soccer Letter Number 1 -- The greatest soccer match ever played. Also, Harper 7 explained.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 2 -- Bent Like Beckham and the Deathly Hallows. Also, yogalosophy explained.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 3 -- The team plays through their hangovers and gets it done anyway. Also, David Beckham did something.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 4 -- The team plays through their hangovers and fails to get it done. Also, puppies!

Spring League 2011


Spring Soccer Letter Number 1 -- A new season begins, with 12th place in sight. Also, Dave and Posh go to a wedding.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 -- A glorious start to a new season, then things go bad. Also, Dave gives January Jones the Look.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 3 -- Minnie joins the Team and sees more balls than she can handle. Tom still refuses to pass the ball.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 5 -- How do you say "success" in 6 different languages? Also, Tony gets a hat trick the hard way.

Summer League 2010


Summer Soccer Letter Number 1 -- The team brings in some irregulars and a creepy nurse

Spring League 2010


Spring Soccer Letter Number 1 -- A New Look For a new Season. Also, the World Cup

Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 -- Happy Birthday David Beckham. Also, the World Cup

Spring Soccer Letter Number 3 -- Happy Mother's Day, Sandra Beckham. Also, the World Cup

Spring Soccer Letter Number 4 -- Bent Like Beckham Finally Wins One!! Also, the World Cup

Summer League 2009


Summer Soccer Letter Number 1 -- Paris in the springtime, cheeseburgers and tits

Spring League, 2009


Spring Soccer Letter Number 1 -- Let's Get This Party Started

Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 -- Introducing the 2009 Special Teams

Spring Soccer Letter Number 3 -- Get Your Balls Out Of My Face

Summer League, 2008


Summer Soccer Letter Number 1 -- The greatest soccer football match yet played. Also, New York City, Forrest Gump and an unexpected amputation

Spring League, 2008


Spring Soccer Letter Number 1 -- Of size XXS uniforms and toast

Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 -- Of underwear and 47 chapters of assigned reading

Summer League, 2007


Summer Soccer Letter Number 0 -- In which we start it all over once again

Summer Soccer Letter Number 1 -- In which the Team gets clobbered in a match memorable for many amazing things. Also, the Beckhams arrive in America.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 6 -- In which the Team wins a close one against a younger faster squad and plunder the Urban Dictionary for cheap laughs.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 7 -- In which Tom screws up again

Spring League, 2007


Spring Soccer Letter Number 1 -- In which the Team keeps it close until half-time when the other side's ringers arrive

Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 -- In which Spring Soccer Letter Number 2 has not been written yet. Apparently it will have the Flintstones in it.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 3 -- In which we learn the Top Ten Things about playing for Bent Like Beckham.

Spring Soccer Letter Number 4 -- In which the Team begs Sofia Loren to keep her damn clothes on

Spring Soccer Letter Number 5 -- In which we learn a few things about Chuck Norris and the mysterious Captain Muscle

Spring Soccer Letter Number 6 -- In which the wild rumpus begins

Spring Soccer Letter Number 6� -- In which Posh walks the red carpet and several unnamed sources visit the Pink Pony

Spring Soccer Letter Number 6� -- In which a mighty flood washes away the sins of man ... and the game

Spring Soccer Letter Number 7 -- In which the Jimmy Hat Tricks teach Bent Like Beckham a thing or 6 and a picture is worth 6350 words

Spring Soccer Letter Number 8 -- In which the team lines up two by two to join the new born giraffes on the ark

Winter Indoor League, 2007


Winter Soccer Letter Number 1 -- In which we meet the Team, and learn of the Pink Pony

Winter Soccer Letter Number 2 -- In which we learn that due to an error in counting, there is no Soccer Letter Number 2.

Winter Soccer Letter Number 3 -- In which the highlights from Bent Like Beckham's thrilling loss to the Gargoyles are highlighted.

Winter Soccer Letter Number 4 -- In which the opposing goalie gets narded, the Team scores twice and the secrets of the Pink Pony are revealed.

Winter Soccer Letter Number 5 -- In which great plays are made, many lagers are consumed and people fall in love (opens as .pdf file - use "right Click - Save As or this one will break your computer).

Winter Soccer Letter Number 6 -- In which we meet the talented men and ladies who work tirelessly behind the scenes, to make Team Bent just as bent as it can be.

Winter Soccer Letter Number 7 -- In which BLB almost wins a game and in which Brian needs some lip balm. Stat.

Winter Soccer Letter Number 8 -- In which some guy named "Adonis" gets his boobs rubbed. or something. It really does not make that much sense.

Winter Soccer Letter Number 9 -- In which Bent Like Beckham comes out with all of their Guns of Navarone blazing

Winter Soccer Letter Number 10 -- In which Bent Like Beckham finally wins something. Huzzah!!

Summer League, 2006


Summer Soccer Letter Number 1 -- In which the Summer season gets off to a great start and Tom goes to the movies

Summer Soccer Letter Number 2 -- In which the Team channels Stompin' Tom Connors

Summer Soccer Letter Number 3 -- In which we learn whatever became of MC Hammer. Also, the Anal Intruder (TM)

Summer Soccer Letter Number 4 -- In which Tony is bedazzled and Brian gets married

Summer Soccer Letter Number 5 -- In which the Team plays on, in spite of the rain and one very foppish referee

Summer Soccer Letter Number 6 -- In which the Team suffers a dispiriting loss to a team of Russians. Also, Leonard Nimoy.

Summer Soccer Letter Number 7 -- In which the Team takes on a team of gorillas ... with the usual results

Spring League, 2006


Spring Soccer Letter Number 4 -- In which we get a name and a new, purply look

Spring Soccer Letter Number 5 -- In which we meet some of the other teams and one scary looking bald guy

Spring Soccer Letter Number 6 -- In which the Team wins its very first game ever, and thinks to itself, "wow, that was easy ..."

Spring Soccer Letter Number 7 -- In which the new T-Shirts arrive, just in time for the big game

Spring Soccer Letter Number 8 -- In which Stuart makes some big saves and offers some useful financial advice

Spring Soccer Letter Number 9 -- In which the Bent Like Beckham cheer squad is introduced and, surprisingly, Tony keeps his mitts off of them

Spring Soccer Letter Number 10 -- In which Bent Like Beckham scores a lot of goals, and Tracy scores a beer from the other team

Spring Soccer Letter Number 11 -- In which Carly skips a date to make the game, and Brian cautions the kids to stay away from the potatoes (they're brown)

Spring Soccer Letter Number 12 -- In which we learn that 7 foot tall lions really can drive cars

Spring Soccer Letter Number 13 -- In which Andre Cantor makes the call ... "GOOOOOOOAAAALL!!!!"

Spring Soccer Letter Number 14 -- In which Bent Like Beckham wins again -- and there was much rejoicing





    GET BENT!