Winter 2007 Soccer Letter #3

Game # 2     Bent Like Beckham:  1      Gargoyles :  >1

Game Highlights:

Highlight #1

Bent Like Beckham scored their first ever goal in Indoor Soccer! And ….in the Great Tradition of Team Bent…. 10 seconds later, it was sadly taken away. Team Goon, and Lens Crafters Spokesman, Tony “Has Anyone seen my Glasses” Beckham, scored the beautiful shot, only to learn that standing 10 feet inside the Goalie’s crease is considered bad form and more importantly, somewhat against the rules. Although Tony stated he didn’t notice any lines, when asked what he thought of the “size” of the Goalie’s Crease? Tony responded, “Hey!?! Do I look Gay to You”? No comment Tony…..

Highlight #2

Team Forward and David Beckham Look-A-Like, Brian “I prefer to call it Football” Beckham, hammered another Goal into the back of the net later in the first half. At that cherished moment, where years from now we’ll all look back fondly, the crowd erupted in a flurry of cheers, clapping hands and uncoordinated waves that gave even the Special Olympics a bad name.

No one was more excited about the goal than our very own Tony “The Spanking Machine” Beckham. Here’s a candid photo of him showing Brian his overwhelming appreciation for the goal. Some might say that our Team is a little closer than most…..


Brian modestly stated afterwards to reporters, "I’m not really sure what happened, Tony just kinda came outta nowhere, however, I’d like to take this opportunity to be thankful for Raspberry Flavored Beer, Green M&Ms and that little smile Peter gets on his face when his first beer arrives”. Thanks Brian, well said.

Highlight #3

Denise “I like to use my Hands” Beckham surprised everyone (as well as herself), by volunteering to go in net for the game. Let me be the first to say, she was OUTSTANDING. After a blistering attack of soccer balls, coming at her from every direction, Denise later commented to Reporters, “It’s been a long time since I’ve had so many balls thrown at me in one evening”. Lets keep those comments to ourselves Denise….

Highlight #4

Desiree “I only drink at night” Beckham took the field by storm. Desiree’s unique skills ended up emotionally wounding one of the other players as she did some kind of Latin Dance Number on him from behind when he had the Ball. When we caught up with Desiree after the Game, she said “I just feel the music in me and I gotta Dance”. Desiree was later seen exchanging her number with half the players on the other team.

Highlight #5

Summer “Boom-Boom” Beckham had some moves on her that night that made a $2 Brazilian Dancer jealous. Yes. I’m talking about THAT kind of Dancer. She dodged left, she jumped right, she cart-rolled, skipped and twirled around the floor like a Jamaican Sailor on cheap Rum. When it was finally pointed out to Summer, that the ball was nowhere near her, Summer quietly responded, “I prefer it that way” ….. leaving the rest of the team wondering, what exactly did she mean by that anyway?

Highlight #6 & 7

Team Hyslop, Pam “I like to watch” Beckham and Stephanie “I’m partial to the green ones” Beckham were like Peanut Butter and Jam, Rye and Coke, Kilts and Haggis, Armed Robbery and 15-20, in other words, a dynamic duo that just couldn’t be beat. With skills that haven’t been seen at our Football Club since, well, ever really, they handled the ball like a couple of professionals. We look forward to the further adventures of the Hyslops at the next game and on future episodes of “COPS’.

Hightlight #8

Tom “I’ve never met a Red Head I didn’t like” Beckham, generally referred to as Team Captain and All Around Great Guy, had another outstanding game. Tom, quiet and humble in his own way, was once again, grateful to be playing with such a well-rounded group of individuals. When asked by Reporters how he managed to put together such a Team as Bent Like Beckham on such short notice, Tom responded, “It was easy, all the good players were already taken”. Which only serves to emphasis the Bent Like Beckham Motto: “Take Lisa, everyone else has”. Just kidding Lisa, that’s not our motto, but it could be? No, our motto is “Beer. It’s more than just alcohol”.

Highlight #9

Lisa “Alls Well that” Beckwell showed up at the game with her usual focus, intensity, and a strong smell of garlic. Each game Lisa brings to the game a true fire inside her, which for last game, was a little closer to the truth from all of the spicy food she had for supper. When stopped at half time by Reporters for Lisa’s take on the game, Lisa summed it up in a nutshell by responding, “When exactly are we going for beer, I’m starting to sober up”?

Highlight #10

Peter “I’m on my way” Beckham, had the crowd on their feet when he showed up with minutes to spare only to end up tripping on painted blue lines on the floor. Peter, never one to shy away from controversy, began a legal case against the manufacturers of the blue paint on the grounds that the paint was too big. No doubt, this case will be one to watch in the near future. Stay tuned to the Jerry Springer show for regular updates.

That’s it in a nutshell folks, a special mention goes out to Bent Like Beckham’s first official Winter 2007 fan, Cheryl “Don’t touch my Pom-Poms” Whats-her-name. Thanks for the support and good luck in the Peace Corps. Next game finds us in Forrest Lawn and don’t forget your light shirt in case we keep running into other Teams wearing Purple Shirts like last game. I mean, what are the odds?

See you all at the next game.

Tom Beckham

Team Captain and All Around Great Guy.