Winter 2007 Soccer Letter #8                         

 

Imagine their surprise when Lisa and Tony showed up 15 minutes late and Peter wasn't there yet. Oh wait, he was there. That's what they were surprised about. The real surprise was that Bent like Beckham had registered their first win!!! By default :(

There are many faithful BLB players and fans who were overjoyed at the news that BLB finally got the one in the win column. Stop for a minute to ponder the word default. Default is like getting a tie for Christmas. It might be a nice tie but wouldn't you rather get something else? Default is like kissing your sister. Or brother, in Tom's case. Like kissing Ian or (gasp) Roy. It's still a kiss but look who you had to kiss. It's like when Tom's mom took him to grade 12 grad. The record shows that he had a date but...

Despite the validity of the win, it was a win nonetheless. More importantly we got the chance to play against our own team, with a smattering of defaulted losers thrown into the mix. It is easy to see why teams like to play us. We are not very good but we are fun.

Game highlights (of course since this was an unofficial game none of the goals can be used toward the MVP award at the end of season party)

Defence wins championships but in a fun game defence is out the window. Defence takes effort without glory. Why would anyone want to play defence? The author apologises for the digression.

#1 The leading scorer of the evening was none other than Lisa! In honour of her hat trick (Tom, that means 3 goals) a talented local artist drew a cartoon or our own Posh Spice scoring her third goal. Note the beer glass hat-trick-hat.

 

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One of the male players, who shall remain nameless (Peter), may claim that he got four goals but this was not recorded on the official score sheet so said claim cannot be validated. Plus the talented local artist refused to draw Peter in a dress.

 

#2 Desiree, of the infamous boobie rub (see Highlight #4, Winter 2007 Soccer Letter #3) proceeded to ply her famous distraction ploy on one of her talented opponents. Despite her obvious charms the Adonis merely hoisted her on his back and ran like the wind, nearly scoring. Obviously, the only reason his shot went so high (see Team Record Book, Most Field Goals in a Single Game) was due to the added weight, which threw off his balance. The Adonis was later heard saying, "I was a bit put off by the sharp under-wires but overall it was a pleasant experience".

 

For brevity's sake this wonderful letter shall be cut off at this point. Were it an Academy Award acceptance speech the music would be in the crescendo by now.