A Division of Bent Like Beckham Worldwide

Welcome to Spring Soccer Letter No. 1

Game 1 Report

2 Meter Peters 3 – Just Kickin’ It - 1

After a lengthy hiatus, the Team finally returned to the pitch on the last Sunday in April.  They brought with them their own unique brand of soccer football, where even the most routine plays can be an adventure.  There was Tom, still running like a girl and Peter, who could barely run at all after completing a half marathon that very morning.  Sandro appeared, shrugging off his broken toe or twisted knee or whatever other ailment he usually comes up with on Sunday afternoon to avoid soccer night. 

Patrick stood tall in goal (he can’t help it, he’s really, really tall) and Tracy and Brigitte stood a little shorter on defence.  (perhaps I should say “a tenu plus court sur la defence” since they chattered away in French the whole game.  It was “allez Brigitte” here and “Tom est un petit home semblant drôle” there all night long.

Brian chipped in his usual pair of goals, leading the Team to its first win of the year.  In past years, it has taken 7 or 8 games before that happens.  The League Championship looks like a lock at this point.

Game 2 Report

2 Meter Peters 2 – The BEAVERS 3

I was not there.  I went to Vancouver for Free Comic Book Day.  It was awesome. 

In my absence, Team Manager and all around great guy, Tom was in charge.  I just assumed that he could assemble a complete roster for one night and manage them to victory.

It just goes to show you, that when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME

Tom predictably failed, but those stalwart few who did appear (Sandro’s toe did not) gave it the old Crouch try.  Playing a man/woman short, they lost by a singleton against a team with a proper roster and which was undoubtedly juiced on some of Lance Armstrong’s very finest.  The league championship remains within our grasp.

In other Soccer News

·         In November, Team Chairman for Life, Peter Crouch was accidently struck in the jaw by Newcastle Captain Fabricio Coloccini and suffered, in the words of the British press “the loss of three gnashers and a broken chap.”  I have no idea what that means.  It might be that he broke his jaw and lost three teeth, but it’s hard to be sure.  It must really hurt, because Mr. Crouch has only scored once in 18 games since then, which is cause for concern in Stoke City, but it certainly makes him eligible to play for the 2 Meter Peters.

·         More interestingly, Abigail Crouch, née Clancy was out on the town this week in a backless, braless frock that more wives should wear and I should know I used to have one. Here’s how that went down:

Abby: I told you I should have worn a bra.

Pete:  It’s fine, really.

Pete:  Really, it’s fine.

Abby:  I don’t think so.  Give me your jacket so that I can put my arm down. 

Abby:  That’s better, thanks

Pete:  How do you like my new gnashers?

The Team’s next game is on Sunday night at Ecole de la Rose Sauvage (the school where wild Rose gets wild), 2512 4 St NW, against some posers who call themselves “Puff, Puff, Pass”.  Seems like easy pickings for the elite squad in turquoise. 

Go Bend It!!

Allez Brigitte!

This week’s Soccer Letter is brought to you by the proud soccer nation of Brazil ….

 

Crouch!!