A Division of Bent Like Beckham Worldwide

Welcome to Spring Soccer Letter No. 5

Game 7 Report

2 Meter Peters 7 – Car Bomb 3

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That’s right … it’s the Playoffs, baby.  The hap-happiest time of the soccer year.  A chance for the 2 Meter Peters, a division of Bent Like Beckham Worldwide to climb all of the way to 5th place in the final standings and to claim the lovely ‘Participant Ribbon” that comes with it.   

The playoffs are also the time of the year that we separate the men from the boys.  Unfortunately, the problem for this team is that there are no boys.  Only old, plodding men.  In an effort to add a little energy to the playoff lineup, assistant coach Philippe called up young Eric (Le “Baby Boom”) from our minor league squad (the 1 Meter Peters).  Eric certainly impressed in his debut with the big team.  He was an unstoppable force all over the pitch and I’m pretty sure he scored or assisted on all 7 of our goals.  In fact, on a couple of them, he scored and got an assist.  He was just that good.

Eric was so good, that nobody much cared about the brilliant goal Peter scored off a header at the top of the crease.  While Peter ran around celebrating like it was the end of World War 2, everyone else was congratulating Eric on his brilliant cross.  “That pass was so good, even Peter could head it in,” said Sandro.

This is a true story:  During my last physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees. The mental stress of it all left me shattered. At the end of it all I drank eight beers". Inspired by the story, the doctor said "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!" "No," I replied "I'm just a shit golfer"

So, thanks to Eric’s help and the superb performances from his supporting cast, the Team delivered an epic spanking and now advance to the hugely anticipated “5th Place Match”on Sunday night.  It should be a classic.  Unless we lose, then we will forget about it in a hurry.

In Other Soccer News:

·     Japan, Australia, Iran and South Korea have all qualified for the 2014 World Cup.

·     Canada has failed to qualify for the World Cup for the 8th straight time.    

This week’s Soccer Letter is brought to you by Manchester United, winners of the Premiership in 2012-2013

Crouch!!