Welcome to the Spring Soccer Letter # 13
And on the seventh day, the Beckham said "Let there be goals and let them be plentiful".......(And they were)....... Holy Cannoly, what an end to an exciting first Spring Soccer Season for Bent Like Beckham. The Cinderella story ended with a Ka-Pow as Team Bent lead an exhausting onslaught of shot after shot after shot (after beer) after shot and again, after a few more beers, there was another shot. (And some of them even went in). That's right, Team Bent finished the Season with two straight wins and dare I say, the un-official winner of the Division B Sunday Rec League. (Medals Pending) But lets look at a more detailed breakdown from our color commentator, Angus McBudd.
Bent Like Beckham (6) vs. The Lazy Susans (4)
As Andre Cantor (shown above) is famous for saying, the match was just one long GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.. The Lazy Susans never knew what hit them, by half time it was Team Bent (3), the Lazy Susan's (0). Stuart "Do these knee pads look even?" had an outstanding first half. Shown below in yellow, Stuart was diving to the left, he was diving to the right, he was diving when the ball wasn't even near him. He looked unstoppable. When asked to the secret of his success, Stuart replied, "I see balls in front of me and I know that I've just got to get my hands on them. There's just no two ways about it. Those balls are mine".
Star Striker, Brian "Thunder Foot" had three, count 'em, one-two-three goals by half time and a fourth later in the game. When asked about the stunning turn around in his playing ability, Brian had this to say, "Well, I thought, we've really got to start bringing our balls forward more, passing them around to each other. Sometimes I'll let Tony take my balls up, sometimes Peter. That's what being a Team is all about, passing your balls around for everyone to share". That's Brian below, celebrating his fourth goal in style.
Carly "Ukahoonian" had another outstanding game. When asked what she liked most about soccer, Carly replied, "I never knew chasing balls around could be so much fun. I'm actually thinking of trying out for Goalie next season. I mean look at this hands, they were made to hold balls." That's Carly below showing her support for Argentina’s national team.
At half-time, Bent Like Beckham Goalie Stuart, added one more piece of equipment to his list (shown below). Now, he's invincible.
After half time, things picked up where they left off, however, the Lazy Susan's started to introduce their Secret Weapons against Team Bent's famous goalie, Stuart "The Wall". That's right, they let their girls start taking shots. A shot from any of the guys on the Lazy Susan Team was promptly stopped with all the bravado of a Broadway Play, but sadly, like Superman, Stuart's Kryptonite was clearly a shot from any girl on their team, from no less than 50 yards out. Those girls had trouble written all over them (see below). He was powerless against a cute ankle and a lazy eye. A wink from one, a glimpse of a sweaty sports bra from another and Stuart was putty in their hands. So to speak.
However, even when things looked grim, Team Bent rallied to the cause with Tracy "Marathon Girl" and Peter "Just having one beer is rude" both scoring goals. When asked what they've both gotten out of soccer, Tracy replied "Well, that's a tough one, I'd have to say that this spring league has really helped my skill level improve because I've been able to see how I handle a wide range of balls. Cause you really never know what you're getting from one night to another. Personally, I like the big ones." That's Sporty Tracy below modeling the Bent Like Beckham Swim Suit collection.
Peter added, " I agree, I've tried handling the small ones between the posts and it's a little difficult, give me some large balls to play with and you'll see magic. Magic I say. I don't want to brag, but large balls are my specialty." That's Peter below, taking his second goal of the season, calmly and quietly as usual.
Tony "Do I look like Obelix", shown below on the right, took the field by storm this evening, running non-stop and charging the goal with thunderous applause from the spectator(s) that stopped to watch this magnificent game of football. When asked about the Bent Fans, Tony responded, "The fans are great, they are out here night after night supporting us. In fact some of them bring their balls out for us to sign. It's great. I must have had ten or twenty people this season come up to me and shove their balls in my face, I've never once said no."
In fact, no is not a word that Star French forward, Philippe "My kids call me Papa" even knows. Philippe is out every game giving 150%. He plays forward, striker, defense, everything. When asked what his preference was, Philippe responded. "You know, I've got to be honest with you, I like all the positions. Up, Back, Left, Right, Whichever. I'm comfortable with either. Just give me an opening, no matter how small, and an opportunity with the balls and I'll show you how the French do it".
Well, that's the way the ball bounced at the game, Bent Like Beckham (6), the Lazy Susan's (4). Rain or Shine, the beer was still good. Stay tuned for Spring Soccer Letter #14 coming to a newsstand near you soon ('ish).
Goaleo IV Mascot