Golden Marigold FlowerSpring 2007 Soccer Letter #6



Game #6:        Bent Like Beckham:  6      Wild Things:  6


Bent Like Beckham arrived at the pitch on a sunny Sunday night to take on the Wild Things in the last game of the season.  At stake for the Bent side?  A spot in the Top Four and a shot at the League Championship T-Shirts.  At stake for the Wild Things?  Who cares.


But which Wild Things would show up?  The Denise Richards – Neve Campbell Wild Things?[1] 



Or the Max in his wolf suit Wild Things? 



I think we know which one we were all hoping for (no, Stuart, not the Max one, though a wild rumpus is always good times).


And of greater interest, would Tom (Team Captain and All Around Great Guy) and Tracy (The Chick Who Puts Up With All His Crap) show up?  They’d missed the last game due to being 6783 km away[2] in England.  Their flight was due to land at YYC at 4:30 PM (11:30 PM GMT), a mere 2 hours before kick-off.  Given the long travel (6873 km), inevitable airport delays and jet lag, it would be a miracle if they made it. 


But make it they did – unlike Steve (Grande Prairie), Philippe (Edmonton – both of which are much closer to Calgary than Manchester, btw), Tony (hypothermia), Rannie (hangover) and Lisa (who the hell knows.  She never shows up). 


Unlike that craven bunch of splitters, there was really never any doubt that either Tom or Tracy would miss the game.  Here’s a holiday snap Tom took of Tracy.  We all knew she missed Sunday night soccer, we just did not know how much:



And it was a good thing they made it, otherwise, Bent Like Beckham would have played 80 minutes without a single sub.


The few, the mighty, the brave Beckham players who showed up took the play to the Wild Things early, with Brian splitting the defence for an early goal and then Peter barrelling down the left wing to put BLB up 2-nil. 






With 2 more quick strikes from Brian (to complete his hat trick) Bent Like Beckham retreated to the shelter of their umbrellas leading 4-nil at the half. 


The Wild Things came out in the second half, determined to make a game of it, but they were unable to break through the defensive wall set up by Laura and Summer.  They hung onto the bare chested star of the Wild Things, Ricky Ricardo, tighter than Stuart hangs onto a crisp $5 bill.  And that’s tight.


Speaking of Stu, he turned aside shot after shot, diving to the ground again and again to gather up the ball.  Asked to explain his brilliant play, Stu explained “I was sure I saw a quarter buried in the goal crease.  Everytime I bent down to dig it up, the ball bounced off of me.”  Whatever it takes, Stu.  Tom has promised to bury a Twonie in your creased next game. 

Despite Stu’s heroics, the Wild Things scrambled back to narrow the score to 4-3.  Then Tom flicked in two big goals to make it 6-3.  Here’s Tom, celebrating with Andrew after he bent it like, well, Beckham, on his second goal. 




His first goal was the result of a brilliant cross by one Des.  Yes, it is true.  Des got an assist.  Which she celebrated in her usual sedate and low key fashion (she did a cartwheel):




In Other Soccer News:


·               Team Chairman for Life, David Beckham, returned to the England national team on Friday and had a beauty assist on England’s goal in a 1-1 tie with Brazil.  All you need to know about the game is in this quote from the Sun:

Nervous Beckham ended up being the last England man to walk from the tunnel before kick-off — because he was in the loo.  He explained:  “It wasn’t a deliberate move to be the last player out. I was in the toilet and that’s why I was at the back.  I’m quite nervous before every game and often spend a lot of time in the toilets.”

Perhaps Bent Like Beckham should spend a few more minutes in the bog[3] before their matches? 

Becks and England take on Estonia on Wednesday in Group E qualifying for Euro 2008. 


·               On Sunday, the Euro 2008 qualifying match between Denmark and Sweden was abandoned with one minute left in the game when a crazed Denmark fan raced onto the pitch and attacked the referee, who had just awarded a penalty kick to Sweden.  The game was tied 3-3 at the time.  Following a review, Sweden was awarded a 3-nil win.  Way to help your team out there, Crazed Danish Fan.

The crazed fan remains unnamed, but here is a photograph à


Sofia Loren Update: 


When we last checked up on Sofie Loren, she had promised to strip naked if Napoli won promotion to Serie A in the Italian Soccer League.  The chance of glimpsing some 72 year old nip is obviously very motivational for the Napoli side, who won again on Sunday and have actually clawed their way up to second place.  A win or a draw in their final match against Genoa on June 10 will result in promotion and (gulp) a Loren-ish disrobing. 


Go Genoa.


Post-Script - Google Search Strings that resulted in hits on this week:


·               Lady bing winners

·               mistress tracy (perhaps this is the site you were looking for, Tony:





The playoffs begin June 17.  Let the wild rumpus start!

[1] Are Denise and Neve Swedish?  I think it is very possible that they are.

[2] Exactly 6873 km away.  I looked it up.

[3] Those crazy Brits.  They have a bazillion words for the bathroom.  Loo … crapper … bog ….  And, most amusingly, lavatory.