Game #1: Bent Like Beckham: 0 Jimmy Hat Tricks: 7
Game #1.1: Bent Like Beckham: 4 Jimmy Hat Tricks: 3
Well, that was fun, wasn’t it?
Once again, Bent Like Beckham opened its season against perennial League Champs, the Jimmy Hat Tricks.
Hey Jimmy, love the “Spring League 2007 Champs” T-Shirts. They go really nice with your “Spring League 2006” T-Shirts. Say, have you ever thought of playing in the Rec Plus Division? I hear they have lots of good teams playing in that league and you’d probably fit in real well there. Granted, most of your team have not played professionally in the last 2 or 3 years, but I think you could hold your own. Don’t you think that maybe, just maybe, it’s time you swam in a bigger pond?
And once again, Bent Like Beckham went down to ignominious and crushing defeat against a younger, faster team that had lots and lots of subs.
The reason for this crushing loss really comes down to those 3 things. JHT is younger than us, faster than us and has lots and lots of subs.
Bent Like Beckham on the other hand had no subs. In fact, Bent Like Beckham had to recruit two fans from the stands to fill out their roster. If it was not for Jenn’s friend Jenn and Sheryl suiting up, BLB would have had to forfeit and the game would have gone into the books as a 7-nil loss. Thankfully, BLB was able to field a team, and the game went into the books as a 7-nil loss.
Those who were AWOL on this night: Stuart, Tony, Tracy, Tom, Fabby and Steve.
Those who ran in a 10K race that morning: Laura and Peter.
Those who came straight from a party after polishing off a double cheeseburger and then had to put in 80 non-stop minutes: Brian.
The fine which AWOL players will be paying their exhausted teammates at the end of the next game: All the jugs the tavernkeeper can serve without losing his licence. And some wings. Wings are good.
But what about the game? Well, actually, there were two games. At the end of the first half, JHT led 5-nil. BLB was out of subs and out of breath. It was agreed that the game be called and that the teams play a ‘friendly’ in the second half, with JHT providing some much needed subs.
The pitch was in pretty rough shape, though the giant pothole in the middle made it easy to find the center line. Happily, no one tripped in it and broke their ankle, or we might have had to shoot them.
In the absence of regular keeper, Stu (fined one jug and a plate of wings for being AWOL), Nick took his place. JHT wasted no time in peppering the rookie netminder with shot after shot after shot. And Nick wasted no time in kicking all but 5 of them aside. It was an astonishing display of goaltending, and now Bent Like Beckham is embroiled in its first ever goalie controversy. Nick would seem to be the presumptive starter for Game 2, although Stuart might be able to win his spot back if he … I dunno … shows up.
What about the rest of the team? How did they do? Well, no one ever forget the stalwart effort they put in against overwhelming odds. It was a game that will live in infamy. Their play will never be forgotten (cue music):
· Who can forget Peter’s brilliant inside out quintiple fake move where he went up the field one on five only to be thwarted at the end by a highlight reel save (still being shown on TSN’s great plays of the last century) …
· Nor will anyone forget how Jenn 2 broke up the right side, broke up the left side and broke through the middle, feathering crosses to the top of the crease, only to see the men on the team fark it up …
· And what about Sheryl, pinching in in a pinch and bruising every shin she got near? No one is going to forget that anytime soon, particularly the guys with the bruised shins …
· And remember Laura, fresh off a 10K run, turning aside sure goals again and again. We’ll always remember Laura’s phenomenal play on this day …
· And Jenn … no not that Jenn, the other Jenn. Yes, that one. Her astonishing runs up the field will not ever be forgotten. Especially the times she brought the ball along with her ….
· And Brian … unforgettable again, playing with 3 double cheeseburgers percolating in his belly and still potting his first two goals of the season. Unforgettable, Truly unforgettable.
Bent Like Beckham lost the first “official” game, 7-nil, but actually managed to win the second one, 4-3 on a couple of late goals just before the final horn (mercifully) sounded.
In Other Soccer News:
· Canada has been eliminated from the U20 World Cup after losing 2-nil to Congo. Canada is, of course, the host nation for this tournament, but in three entire games managed to score a grand total of zero, that’s 0, nil, nada, buttkiss, fark-all, in their three group matches. Eight teams remain in the tournament, including the hated Austrians. Austria plays the USA on Saturday afternoon.
· GO USA!! U-S-A!!! GO!!
NEXT GAME is Sunday, 630 PM at Rose Sauvage School, where Bent Like Beckham has never, ever lost a game.
No shows will be required to wear the Pink Pony underpants on Monday. Yes Stuart, this means you.