Bent Like Beckham

The Greatest Soccer Team in the World



BENT LIKE BECKHAM'S
Book Of Soccer Records


Most Goals in a Single Game: 6 - Brian: Brian scored an amazing 6 goals in Bent Like Beckham's enormous win over what must have been a really awful team. Tom had a pretty good night, too. He had 5 goals, but that is not the record, is it?

Most Field Goals in a Single Game: 11 - Tony: On a rainy September evening, Tony used his speed and finesse to generate 11 breakaways. In each case, he shot the ball high. At least one of Tony's kicks has never been recovered.


Longest Shift: 113 Minutes, 47 Seconds - Peter: During a stretch of nearly two hours spanning three games, Peter took to the pitch and never came off. In that time, he ran a mere 300 yards and touched the ball only once. He finished the mega-shift with 0 goals, 0 assists and was on for 15 goals against.

Most Kicks to the Nards: 32 - Paul: In the course of his Bent Like Beckham career, Paul was struck in the geniticular region a total of 32 times by cleats, soccer balls, and, in one case, a goal post. This amounted to an average of 2.1 major testiclear traumas per game. Paul still suffers from a condition colloquially known as "black and blue balls", which gives him a slight limp and a painful priaprism in damp weather.

Bloodiest Nose: Tracy Perhaps the toughest player on the Bent Like Beckham roster, Tracy once lost 3 litres of blood when she was accidentally elbowed during a routine ass kicking at the top of the crease. Tracy received 33 stitches, returning to the game only 4 and a half minutes later.


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